A Dream I Had-draft1
I used to have a dream which happened in a Sunday afternoon. I found I was a child, standing on a hill. To my confusion, there was no color in my dream. Several minutes later, I saw a big stuff bear which used to be one of my toys when I was 5 years old walking toward me and held me in the arms gently. Suddenly, we appeared in a park which I went to frequently in my childhood. At the same time, everything had its own color again. Afterwards, I played with my old frends and felt very excited. I thought that the reason why I made a dream like that was because my mind missed the care-free time very much.

9 Comments:
1.I saw a big "stuffed" bear
最後一句 I thought that ...very much.
感覺有點冗長
應該可以試著把它斷句看看
1.I played with my old frends and felt very excited.那個朋友拼錯了
2.when I was 5 years old walking toward me and held me in the arms gently.那個walking前面應該要有逗點
when I was 5 years old walking toward me 在walking之前是不是要加個什麼
I played with my old "frends" and felt very excited. friends應該是不小心拼錯了吧。
順便一提,我們大家都寫同一個題目呢。
I played with my old ”frends” and felt very excited.->friends
對耶。。。大家都寫夢~哈哈
比較好寫吧!!
1..when I was 5 years old walking toward me and held me in the arms gently.->walking的前面要加逗號唷..要不然會很不順..
恩~used to ..
感覺好像是過去一直作夢?是嗎
我覺得你的句子有點過長
"stuffed" bear
old "friends"
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